Dating your college professor

In the Western world, however, these relationships are less openly talked about but often form on-campus gossip as well as risky portrayals on television. In many countries, it is illegal for a teacher to date or have any sexual contact with a student, no matter their age. However, in the majority of countries, it is not illegal once the student reaches university level so long as they are of consenting age in that country. While legal, it is hardly professional for lecturers to date students.

Lecturers are in a position of power and must maintain professional conduct and face losing their jobs due to a conflict of interest. In the United Kingdom, the majority of universities have guidelines on navigating student-lecturer relationships. Professors are required to alert the university should a relationship develop between them and a student to ensure no unfair advantage is given to the student.

The rest of my undergrad experience was peppered with our sexual encounters and spirited — at times dangerous — adventures. I became friends with his young sons. I met his mother. I hosted soirees for faculty and students alike at his downtown apartment. One night, we got a little too carried away and he was arrested for drunk driving, with yours truly in the passenger seat. It even made the front page of the local news. My laid-back, west coast father came to the east coast and met him. Then my hardworking, big city mother came to the east coast and met him.

My friends were polarized — they thought the relationship was either charming or revolting.

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As for me, I felt emboldened. I had made the choice to make a grown man in a position of power shake with desire. One night postcoital, professor and I were eating roasted nuts and drinking red wine naked in his bed. I was 20 years old at this point. We put it on. In the film, Woody Allen plays his typical pervy-uncle trope, twice-divorced, in the midst of dating a year-old.

One thing to look out for is the older usually male professors who seek out attractive young students to boost their self-esteem. If you find that you are a trophy for a professor you are dating, you should question whether you really want to be with someone who cares about you because you are a boost to their ego. Some relationships between professors and students fizzle when you leave the classroom environment. What you originally found sexy and charismatic may seem horribly normal and bland outside of the classroom.

Once the semester ends and the taboo is gone, that attraction may disappear. There is no need to categorically rule out a relationship with your professor.

Love is a hard thing to find and sometimes it begins in less than ideal situations. If you are considering such a relationship, think carefully about your decision.

Harvard officially bans sex between undergraduate students and teachers

Keep in mind the reasons you are attending college. A sexually charged atmosphere is not usually conducive to learning. Make a Comment …. Have something to say? Feel free to add comments or additional information. Comments are moderated for off-topic, offensive, and otherwise inappropriate content.

Students dating lecturers: Why, how, and what are the consequences?

Your email address will be altered so spam harvesting bots can't read it easily. Hide my email completely instead? This article reeks of judgmental arrogance. I pity you for being so narrow minded and ignorant. Do me a favor: Through discussion with colleagues I have learned that a female professor in my department has been actively seeking out sexual liasons with male students since her arrival in our department in She boasts about it to other female colleagues and has turned most of us off with her lack of professionalism.

Though she is a lecturer and not protected by tenured status, she continues to seek young male students from her courses. Our state college has a policy against sexual relationships between students and professors if the student falls under supervision of said faculty member. Really would love it if she would teach somewhere else. In the real world, sex can happen with anyone! However, I would find disturbing and disgraceful if a professor had a sexual relationship with his or her student, while one of the parties is married.

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It certainly isn't going to earn you any respect from your colleagues or classmates. The best you can hope for is a neutral opinion and then it goes downhill from there. Relationships between professors and students should be no different than others: What is your purpose? If one of both is already married, it is not only bad idea, it is a sin. If your purpose is serious, meaning to look for long-term, like marriage, and both are single, then, why not?

Many student females have married their professors. Avoid adultery and fornication; sexual immorality is always sinful in the eyes of God. What makes professor student relationships difficult are administrators who practice feminist jurisprudence. These types of feminists don't believe that women have agency.

Women, in the worst tradition of patriarchy, are legally considered a protected class, like children, by feminists. Any woman who cares about her liberty and liberation from patriarchal norms should reject these feminist representations of women as helpless and infantile. I'm in a relationship like this right now that's being investigated and my partner feels insulted that some random administrator believes she has the duty to protect her.

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  • I, though, feel offended that a third party filed a complaint with complete anonymity because, well, we're competing for the same jobs. I hope women out there who already haven't seen the light eventually do. Feminism is oppression of men and women. Its first principe--the personal is the political--is an attack on a basic human right: The systems itself violates basic rights to due process.

    It's all around fascist to ban and persecute these relationships, both in spirt and in the way the laws are constructed.

    College Professor Hitting on Students

    I mean, literally, these are fascist laws. King George of would be proud. I know of a professor that is living with his former students. He trades them in about every other semester. They are always young women under He's suck idiot that they fight over him. Since he has tenure, he feels his job is protected. Perhaps you were distracted by something in english class?

    Otherwise, a fine article, B. I completely agree that it is wrong to date or even think of dating your professor or student, includes wanting to too because there are so many obstacles that can and will arise no matter what you do to go around them or whatever. It's double edge sword, both you and your instructor could face huge consequences if both decide to elope together while the student is still a student to them. Even if they aren't in the same class anymore, it can still be a challenge to pull off hiding your feelings from the rest of the school.

    I know because over the time in my second year of college I have developed overwhelming feelings for my professor and to be able to talk him oh so friendly without showing any emotion that I care for him in that way is super difficult because I have suspicions he likes me too but still those are suspicions and I could be wrong on them. Showing I care may end up making me look like a fool if they aren't true. Same for a professor who suspects his or her student liking them in that way. Two could become really embarrassed and things could get highly awkward between the two.

    I mean nothing serious has ever happened between me and my professor that I like yet things have already seemed to get awkward since the semester is coming to an end and I'm still sitting on the outside looking in and wondering if my suspicions are true that he likes me and could we make it work if so or am I just over analyzing things since he waited a whole semester to try to get to know me as a student if that is the case and not the other though I am leaning towards to.

    It just seems so odd to why he would wait so long, I mean I noticed little things like him staring at me when we watch documentaries in class or when he's talking to another student and smiles at me or when I am talking to another student and he looks at me like he's listening to what I have to say too. It's those little things that make me want to go with the fact that he does like me and is not interested in getting to know me as a student but as another human being. But still I wouldn't go for it and encourage him to date me if he does like me because I wouldn't want him to get fired nor do I want to be kicked out of college.

    Dating your Professor - Blog

    I've come along a long way to get here, I'm not going to throw it away over something so silly and may end up being meaningless and not worth it. Now if both of you can't deny your feelings for each other, then that's another subject. Been there-Done that while I was in College. It was wonderful- but unfortunately it does come with its own set of complications and challenges.