How to ask a girl to start dating
What women find attractive in a man is the ability to take charge and be a leader. So the first step in how to charm a girl into dating you is to step up, take the lead, and make it all happen. Another way to show leadership and confidence with women is by being direct and upfront with your intention.
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That makes a guy look insecure, and is a one-way ticket to the friend-zone. Instead, own your intention and be straight up with your interest in her. A simple, direct statement like that is going to show that strong confidence women find attractive in men. Guys often ask a girl out for selfish reasons.
That is, they want to get a girl to go on a date solely because of the feeling of validation they get when she says yes.
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Instead, how to charm a girl when inviting her on a date is to take the focus away from you. Rather, invite a girl on a date as a way to fill her needs. See it as you saving her from the boring monotony of everyday life.
See it as a chance for her to finally spend time with a guy that treats women right and knows how to show a girl a good time on a date. Having this attitude when asking a girl on a date will help you naturally project a warm, friendly vibe, and that will make it easier for her to say yes. This is the simplest, but hardest, step to start dating.
If you never ask someone out then you will never start dating. Remember, however, that dating is supposed to be casual. So keep it casual! You do not need to profess your love and ask someone to a romantic dinner. Simply ask them if they want to come grab a drink or some food with you and see what happens. Just because it is "normal" for a guy to ask out a girl doesn't mean it is the only way to do things.
No matter who you are, make the first move and ask. Try lines like, "I've loved talking to you, would you want to grab coffee sometime? It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out. Unless you know fully well that you would never date someone, a casual date won't hurt you. Set a specific time and place for the date. If someone is interested, schedule a time to meet and exchange numbers. Don't wait for them to suggest something, or make your move without having specifics ready.
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If they say yes, suggest a time or location and figure out when the best time is to meet. Give them one or two options so that they don't feel like you're forcing anything. If you've already decided that they are going to hate you, chances are good that you will feel awkward, anti-social, and down during the date. Whether you know it or not, your date will pick up on this. Similarly, if you already decide you don't like someone, you'll spend the whole date looking for faults and issues with them.
Dating is supposed to be fun and casual, so go into each date with your expectations cleared and your head held high. Make your first date low-key. Bring them to somewhere they like or feel comfortable. Mildly crowded restaurants, outdoor events, or small get-togethers are often the best places to go because neither party feels awkward pressure to be romantic or perfect. You will have plenty of time to be romantic. For now, focus on being yourself and having fun. Know that dates are a way to get to know someone, not a test to impress them.
Both parties on a date are trying to find out if they would be compatible together.
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Finding out if you're a good match with someone is hard enough, but it is near impossible if you spend all your time trying to make someone like you. What's more, putting on a show gives a false impression of you to your date, which will come back to bite you when your act falls apart later in the relationship. While it seems obvious, be yourself. You want someone to like you because of who you are, not who you pretend to be.
Focus on making conversation during dates. Good face-to-face conversation is still the best way to get to know someone. Luckily, conversation is something almost anyone can excel at. You don't need a list of topics to have a good conversation, just a willingness to go with the flow and ask questions. Feel free to share things about yourself, but when in doubt about what to say you should ask questions about them.
People love to talk about themselves and feel like someone is interested in them. Ask about work, their family, etc, but whatever you do, be genuine. What do you want to know about them? What made you interested in them? The best questions are specific. Instead of "What do you do at work? If you spend the entire date talking about how great you are, chances are good this will be the last date you go on with them. Avoid controversial topics like religion and politics on your first date.
These topics are often incendiary if you don't know the person well enough to be respectful. Make a move near the end of the date if you feel a mutual connection. While this seems tough to determine, the signals are actually pretty obvious. If your date leans in frequently, makes a lot of physical contact shoulder touching, linking arms, etc.
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Start slow, perhaps by giving a compliment or moving in close to their face, and see how they react. If they don't pull away it might be time to go in for a kiss.
If you are not interested in continuing to see someone, then politely say goodnight and go home. Do not feel like you need to kiss them or reciprocate feelings you don't share. Set up another date if things went well. Casually mention that you'd like to see them again sometime. While you don't have to make plans on the spot, as it can seem a little clingy, say that you'll be in touch and would like to go for drinks.
If they smile and agree, then you should try and organize another date in the next days. Ignore things like "the 3-day rule" and just be yourself. Accept her answer calmly. She may feel the same way, or she may not. Regardless of what she says, though, you need to respond to her answer in a calm, civilized manner. If she agrees to be your girlfriend, express how happy that makes you but do not get wild and shout or dance about. Don't pressure her into a relationship.
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If she hesitates before giving you an answer, do not begin begging for her to agree. Let her know that this will not spell the end of your friendship. Who knows—as long as you don't burn any bridges, she may eventually come to like you later on. Talk to her in person. You need to make sure that she knows who you are in person before you can drop her secret hints about your feelings.
Make sure that the two of you get along fairly well before using this approach. You can still be in the beginning stages of acquaintanceship or friendship, but when you converse, you should be able to do so while smiling and maintaining a comfortable atmosphere. The ideal situation is to begin your approach as soon as you realize your feelings for her. It works even better if you can time things out so that, as the two of you talk more and get to know each other better, she begins to suspect and even hope that you are the one responsible for the mysterious signs of affection.
These secret notes are a good way to inject a little mystery into the situation, and if the girl you have your eye on has a curious nature, this can also be a good way to pique her interest. Do not sign the note if you want to keep it a secret, though. Don't be afraid to be a little cheesy. It may not work quite as well in person, but for a note like this, a few cheesy lines can help keep things light.
You do not need to write an essay about your love for her, but it helps to talk about your feelings a little so that she actually knows that your note is the real deal. Of course, you probably don't know who I am yet, but still. You're a sweet girl. I admire your kindness and your wit, and I thought I should let you know that there's someone who really appreciates you.