Dating my mom stories
I heard about a book of essays by Ian Frazier that was supposedly very funny. So I asked my Mom for a ride to the mall. Back then there was no Amazon. Well, there was, but it was in South America. Fortunately, asking Mom if she'd like to go to the mall was sort of like asking Chuck Schumer if he'd mind going on television.
Three minutes later, we were in the car. Mom asked the name of the book I was getting. I assure you it's not a how-to book. The title essay jokingly proposes that since your mom gives you an unconditional love that you're unlikely to find elsewhere, she'd make a good partner. I particularly liked Frazier assuaging any guilt you may have about cuckolding your Dad.
Instead of simply explaining that "dating our mom" was meant humorously, however, I panicked and blurted out, "I can't remember the title. In the bookstore, I distracted Mom with a 30 percent off sale at Laura Ashley, grabbed the book and rushed to the counter like it was a bank heist — "C'mon! Put it in the bag! I really enjoyed the collection. Another essay imagines Samuel Beckett as an airline pilot giving despairing in-flight announcements to increasingly frightened passengers.
It's a great book My Mom poked her head into my room one day and caught me reading it. She saw the title. An Unauthorized Oral History.
14 Online Dating Horror Stories From Single Moms | CafeMom
And that's pretty much how things stood for the next 17 or 18 years: Me, resigned to the fact that my Mom thought I was an incestuous freak. Now that my anger had subsided, I started to realize that my mom was acting differently. She seemed more willing to let me go out for the night without coming home. I just graduated from college and have moved back home. How in the hell can my mom get a date and I am stuck at home watching my sixth consecutive episode of Parks and Rec on Netflix? Yes, I know my mom is using dating sites, but still I am jealous.
Also I know these men are taking her on exciting dates and this makes me hate it even more.
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Who is the guy? What does he do? Where does he live? So many questions are going off in my mind and the best way to answer them is to do a lot of snooping.
Looking at his LinkedIn, seeing if he has a Facebook, and then going through all of his pictures. This makes me want to throw up everywhere. It has allowed me to know that this is not where I want to be and now I can live my life trying to make it better.
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She deserves to be happy. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.